Harvested from discussion on Army-Talk


Chris Moore - 28-04-2000

OOH you've opened a can of worms..

My favourite was always:

Moenie vir my loor nie troep of ek ruk jou fokken kop van jou fokken skouers
af en kak op jou fokken longe sodat jou fokken asem kan stink!

Translated (roughly):
Don't leer at me soldier, or I'll rip your head off you shoulders and shit
in your lungs so that your breath stinks


Brent 28-04-2000

My all-time favourite:

"Jy's soo deurmekaar soos kots in 'n tuimeldroeer"

And in English:

"You are as mixed up as kotch/spew/sick? in a tumble

Such wonderfully graphic insults, and well delivered
by NCO instructor types..

Bob Anderson - 28-04-2000

"Ek ruk jou arm van jou lyf af, druk dit in jou hol op
en vreet jou soos n toffee appel"


Ill rip your arm from your body shove it up your arse
and eat you lile a toffee apple

Simon Lewis 28-04-2000

Probably the commonest was "Jou Ma skuld my hond

Your mother owes my dog change

Simon Lewis 28-04-2000

How about - "Moenie vir my so loer nie, ek suig jou fokken oog uit"


Don't leer at me, I'll suck your eye out.

Garth Panton - 28-04-2000

I heard an elaboration on that one..

Moenie vir my loor nie troep of ek suig jou oog uit en spoeg hom verkeert om
terug sodat jy kan sie hoe vrot is jou brein...

Don't leer at me.. I'll suck your eye out and spit it back in, back to
front, so that you can see how rotten your brain is...

Brent Hudson - 28-04-2000

Kom hier jou mak moer!!! (Don't know the translation) I heard that on more
ocassions that I can remember.

Jy sal stil staan troep, al loop die vlieg in jou neus op en gaan kak op jou
(You will stand still troep even if the fly walks up your nose and shits on
your brain) Heard these uplifting words more then once on the parade ground
when somebody tried to wave a fly away.

Marcus Duvenhage - 28-04-2000

SM Venter at Oudtshoorn (known as 'blikpiel' to his troops) once gave us
a briefing. He clearly stated '..and when I am finished, there will be
no questions, understood? No questions!'

He finished his briefing and asked coyly, 'Are there any questions?' A
guy called Abrahams asked a question.

Venter, smiled a looked over us, and said:
'Wie van julle het 'n plaas?'
Someone put up their hand.
Venter:'Het julle 'n koei en 'n bul?'
Ant: 'Ja'
Venter: (in rising until roaring crescendo) 'Ek wens ons kan daai koei
se doos uitsny, en dit oor Abrahams se kop sit, en kry daai bul om 'n
bietjie verstand in sy kop in te naai!!!'

Errol - 28-04-2000

remember that blond butch lesbian PF instructor for the women at the
college - one day we smarties were drilling past her while she was shouting
at a squad of 'ladies' (new C.O. nurses including my wife)
excuse the spelling
"julle vroumense is so sleg julle maak my puss hare krill"
translated (sort of)
"you women are so shit(bad) you make my pussie hairs cringe"

Needless to say our squad desolved completely into hysterics while 35 young
C.O.'s stood blushing the same colour as their new berets. It took a while
for the instructor to get us heading in the right direction in step again

Mark Davies - 28-04-2000


That's what the goofy toothed 7SAI cpl (pl 5?) used to call us. Name please

Trev Perks - 30-04-2000

Ek sluit jou so ver weg waar nie eers die vliege op joou sal kak!
(I'll lock you so far away where not even the flies will shit on you)
Used by RSM when trying to impress upon rowe the penalty for doing anything wrong.

Jy is laaer as slang kak se skduwee op die see bodem!
(You are lower than snake shit's shadow on the ocean floor)

Excuse the spelling.

Kim Rolstone - 30-04-2000

beter jou gat in rat kry seun!........get you arse in gear boy

ek sal jou poes plat trap troep!.......i will stamp on your vagina soldier.

hierdie plek lyk soos n hoer se handsak.........this place looks like a
whores handbag

afrikaans is a great language for an army!even german sounds too refined!
pity the ANC has made english the official language of the sandf.
Stuart Robertson - 30-04-2000

"Ek sal 'n kooi se doos oor jou kop oortrek so dat 'n bul jou breins kan

Imagine this being screamed at you from about 2 microns away and the spittle
from the fury of Sgt-Maj Rooibaard landing on your face. Never mind the fact
that as a certified soutie, it took me and a bunch of my mates about 2 weks
to figure out what the hell it meant.. Maybe a better representation of how
it was "spoken: is :
hoorjymytroep? Fokwegomdaardieskietwal"

John Dovey - 01-05-2000

"Jou hoer-naaiende kaffirkak, jou ma naai vir viskoppe op die hawe..."

Translation: I'm not even gonna go there, guys, so don't ask.

One more:

"Ek is nie 'n "Hey" nie, kry vir jou 'n dooie vark, en naai vir jou 'n "Hey"

Translation: I'm not a "Hey", find a dead pig and screw it to make your own "Hey". Usually used after some poor fool said "Hey, Korporaal".

Jakes Louw - 02-05-2000

"Troep, ek sal jou so hard klap die snot sal om jou hang soos 'n gordyn"

(Soldier, I'll smack you so hard your snot will hang around you like a curtain)


Jakes Louw 04-05-2000

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